


stages of grief (canon rewrite/bad ending)

by anyastasia



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Canon Rewrite, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Major character death - Freeform, Ranboo has ADHD, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, a lot of angst and not a lot of fluff, eret is blind, eret uses he/she/they pronouns, erets pronouns change every chapter, i barely know george’s personality and he’s a main pov kill me, idk how to write the dream team so bear with me, i’m a dirty ranboo sam and puffy stan i had to put them front and center, multiple POVs, no beta we die like Mexican dream, techno and phil don’t appear until later, the ranboo part of this is entirely self indulgence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyastasia/pseuds/anyastasia
Summary: punz was too late, and tubbo becomes tommy’s origin story.(canon divergent rewrite of the end of the disc war finale.)
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Niki | Nihachu
Comments: 11
Kudos: 183





	1. death

**Author's Note:**

> hello dear readers :) i started this immediately after the disc war finale, and as of right now the story i have planned will not change if new things come to light in canon. since this is a rewrite, no streams after tommy and tubbo’s will be canon to this! discoveries about characters themselves (ex. ranboo’s enderman powers, phil and techno’s stronghold base) may happen in this too. thanks for reading!! :D
> 
> edit: for some reason i originally tagged this as only having one chapter, but this is a multi chapter fic!! just wanted to clear that up :)

by the time the portal rippled, tubbo had already accepted his fate.

he couldn’t look at tommy. he couldn’t - it would be too much to bear. so much already weighed on the boy’s shoulders. he didn’t want to see his best friend watch him die.

dream was holding his sword, and it was sparkling with enchantments. tubbo had the coherent thought that going out to a pretty sword would be a plus. glancing around, he felt penned in. he had always wanted his death to be poetic, under a great big blue sky in a field of flowers. he wanted to die peacefully, knowing that it wouldn’t make anyone sad. he had always imagined it to be old age, with lots of grandchildren and great-grandchildren to inherit his things. he’d give them one of the discs; he’d give them the piece of bedrock. they’d have the world at their fingertips, free to explore. they would be free.

down here, in this miserable bunker, tubbo had never felt more trapped.

the same feeling that had filled him up to the brim whenever he was standing in that yellow concrete, the tip of a firework settled against his chest, had returned. sickening anticipation, a miserable feeling to get it over with already. he felt the childish urge to ask if they could go outside, so he could feel the breeze on his neck one last time. so he could see the bees buzzing in the flowers. so he could hug tommy.

he wanted to die in l’manburg - but he had already, twice before. but back then, he had been younger, and scared - oh, so scared. he had died trying to crawl out of that dimly lit room, trying to escape eret’s cackling laughter, fundy’s screams as wilbur desperately tried to protect his son. he had died trapped like an animal in a zoo, his death broadcasted for the world to see. both times, l’manburg had killed him. both times, he went back.

he wanted to die in his home one last time.

dream’s cold hands felt a little too much like schlatt’s as the man had pushed him into that box. they felt a little too much like sapnap’s hands on his neck as he pinned him to the floor of that bloodstained control room. tubbo held back a sob as dream pulled him towards him - when did he start crying? while he was speaking to tommy?

dream turned him around and kept an iron grip on his arm. tubbo felt the cold steel of the sword on his throat, but the hardest thing to bear in that cold room was tommy’s helpless gaze.

tubbo had never wanted to see tommy so distraught.he had thought he had seen him at his worst when he had exiled him, or when tommy was screaming in his face that the discs were worth more than him. but this tommy in front of him was so different. he had a slump to his shoulders that wasn’t there before. his eyes were dull, a black sky making its home under his lashline. tommy looked like a walking corpse, and tubbo hadn’t even taken his final breath yet.

tommy would be fine, tubbo reasoned. he would be fine in a few weeks, when all of this was behind them. hopefully he’d forget tubbo ever existed; tubbo hoped that someone would fill in his place. perhaps big q or fundy, or maybe even ranboo. ranboo would be a good change of pace for tommy. tubbo just hoped his death wouldn’t hurt tommy as much as tommy’s death would hurt him. tubbo had already thought tommy died once, and he didn’t need to do that again.

_ every hero needs an origin story,  _ dream had said. tubbo was happy to be tommy’s. he could be useful; that’s all he ever wanted to be.

he met tommy’s eyes. the blonde’s face was red and blotchy as tears hovered on his waterline.

tubbo choked down his own tears and gave tommy a big smile. 

“smile, big man,” he said, softly, oh so softly, the tone of voice of a child who was afraid of what came after death. “it was meant to be.”

the blade slid across his neck cleanly, like a knife through butter. it hurt for a few moments, and then tubbo felt light, lighter than air, and he closed his eyes.

_ make me proud, tommy. take care of my bees. _

tommy watched tubbo’s small, limp body fall to the ground, the front of his shirt already soaked through with blood.

taking in a shuddering, crackly gasp, tommy slid to his knees, grabbing tubbo by the face and hovering over him. tubbo’s emerald eyes were still half-open, and blood dribbled out of his mouth. his head tipped back over tommy’s arm, exposing the horrible gash in his neck. it was clean and precise, like a surgical cut. 

tommy wanted to scream. he wanted to kick and cry and shriek until his voice or his lungs gave out, whatever came first. but all he could do was stare. his voice wasn’t working. he stared at tubbo’s face for a long time, trying to register, to process what he just saw. his hands were sticky with tubbo’s blood, as was the front of his shirt. he felt dazed, as if he had just woken up and was still trying to get his bearings.

there was a  _ whoosh, _ and then punz was charging through the purple mist, digging his heels into the blackstone as he skidded to a stop. he was fully decked out in netherite gear, a shield strapped to his arm and an axe in hand. his malicious gaze swept over the scene in front of him, and his shoulders dropped, his mouth falling open.

“dream-?” he stammered.

dream took a step away from the duo, but it was too late. people were streaming through the portal, and tommy looked up slowly, blinking. he couldn’t see much, but he could hear; the shouts of confusion, the shrieks and screams of horror at the sight of tubbo’s body. tommy felt a headache pound its way along his vertebrae and into his skull.

“what the  _ fuck _ did you do?” sapnap cried, shoving his way to the front of the group. dream stayed silent, but the scene in front of him said it all. there was no hiding it - the blood on his sword and splattered across his mask were testament to his crime.

“ _ tubbo? _ ” quackity exclaimed, sliding in beside sapnap. “what the fuck?! what the fuck did tubbo ever do to you?”

“he got in between me and what i wanted,” dream said defiantly. his head turned towards punz. “what the hell is this?”

“it was supposed to be a rescue mission, you insolent jerk,” punz cried, shaking his axe in dream’s face. “tommy paid me to come help him. look what you’ve done! tubbo was innocent, he didn’t do anything wrong!”

tommy felt a hand on his back, and his chin dropped back down to his chest. he stared at tubbo again. it still didn’t feel real. he expected tubbo to blink and laugh, to sit up and say it was all just a silly joke. but his friend wasn’t moving.

“tubbo,” tommy murmured, moving his bloodsoaked hand to cradle his best friend’s head. “tubbo.”

“tommy,” a soft voice said. puffy crouched down beside him; it was her hand on his back. she brushed the hair out of tommy’s eyes, her own glistening with tears. “tommy, duckling, he’s gone. he’s far away now.”

tommy shook his head slowly. “no. no, that can’t be right,” he murmured. “tubbo, wake up, big t.”

puffy sighed, her breath shaking. “tommy,” she said. she hooked her arms under tubbo’s body and stood up, and tommy shot to his feet; surprisingly fast for a boy who had been nearby immobile the moment before.

“give him back,” he demanded, scrabbling for a hold on tubbo. “please, please, give him back, please,  _ let me have him back- _ ” he was rambling nonsense now, desperately trying to grab him back. puffy stumbled back, trying to keep tubbo away from tommy.

“tommy, please, you’re hurt,” she insisted. “tommy, he’s right here-”

strong arms hooked under tommy and dragged him away from puffy. tommy kicked and screamed, but he was no match for sam as the warden pulled him back, behind the lines of fully clad soldiers. bad gently took tommy from his arms and wrestled him to the floor in some sort of hug that ended in tommy succumbing to it. he gripped the back of bad’s jacket in a death grip, burying his head into bad’s shoulder.

puffy carried tubbo behind the crowd, sliding to her knees and letting his frail little body lean against hers. tears were falling freely down her face now. tubbo had been so young, so innocent. freshly seventeen, his whole life ahead of him, snatched away by what - two music disks? of which there were multiple copies of on the server? her blood boiled just thinking about it.

niki came over and knelt next to the captain. she was crying, too, and buried her face in puffy’s shoulder. by the beings, niki had been so much closer to tubbo - they had fought side by side for l’manburg’s independence, and all throughout schlatt’s administration, they had been there for each other in manburg. puffy let her head fall on top of niki’s.

dream faced a bristling wall of shields, swords and axes. jack shouldered his way to the front, looking painfully out of place with his diamond armor.

“you killed tubbo,” he said. “he was my roommate, my friend - and i didn’t even know him as well as most everyone else! what the hell is with you and manipulating fucking children? who’s next, ranboo? purpled?” 

the rest of the crowd nodded, screwing up their faces at the thought. behind everyone else, next to bad, ranboo winced.

dream scowled. “this server is ruined, because of that little skank,” he spat. “i can’t kill tommy - not yet, anyways. tubbo was the way to break that little thing.”

“you’re horrible!” eret shouted. “you’re the reason for all of our problems. you’re the reason this server is so terrible.”

“if it’s so bad, then  _ leave, _ ” dream sneered. “let it go back to how it was at the beginning. before that stupid blonde kid set foot here.”

“we can’t.”

niki pushed her way to the front. she had taken off her armor, and was just in her white blouse and brown cloak. she had tired eyes, like tommy’s. besides tommy, she and eret were the only original l’manburgians standing alive in that room. 

the expression on her face as she stared at dream was unreadable. “we can’t go back to how we were,” she said, her voice impossibly soft. “human nature can’t be tamed. we will always have to urge to explore, to break free - to  _ live. _ ” she clutched the front of her cloak. “wilbur  _ died _ for his freedom. tubbo died for tommy’s. you are a sick, sick creature.”

“be quiet,” dream growled, wheeling his fist back and throwing it at niki. her red eyes glowed like embers as her hand shot out, grabbing dream’s fist with incredible strength. 

“do not,” she whispered dangerously. “ _ do not _ . do not make me kill you.”

dream laughed, pulling his arm back. “you can’t kill me,” he said icily. “you can’t. you  _ wouldn’t. _ ”

“why not?” punz challenged. his blue eyes were narrowed. “why shouldn’t we cut you down where you stand, just like you killed tubbo?”

dream continued to laugh until it became hysterical, his shoulders shaking. he was cackling like an evil villain in a cartoon. “you can’t!” he shrieked. “you  _ can’t!  _ and if you do, god, you’ll be sorry. you’ll be so, so sorry.”

“tell us why, then!” eret shouted, drawing her bow and knocking an arrow aimed at dream’s heart. “stop bluffing!”

dream wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. “you just don’t get it,” he seethed. “you idiots. i can bring people back from the  _ dead. _ ”

the atmosphere in the room got impossibly colder. eret immediately lowered her bow. punz’s mouth fell open. niki’s grip on her cloak got tighter. 

“you’re bluffing,” jack stammered. “you’re lying.”

“how do you think i brought henry back?” dream exclaimed, throwing out his arm to point to the cow down the hall. “or friend? schlatt gave me a book that explained how to bring back the dead. if you kill me, your final lives are permanent. you’ll be dead forever.”

“don’t,” niki choked out, and for a moment it seemed like she was addressing dream. but she tore her eyes away from him to look at eret and punz. “don’t kill him.”

“niki?” eret said softly. niki looked away. 

“he could bring wilbur back,” she said. her eyes widened. “he could bring  _ tubbo  _ back.”

a soft, collective gasp came from the group. eret pursed her lips. 

“we can’t let him walk out of here, though,” she said. “we have to control him. like he controlled us.” she winced. “like he controlled me.”

“that could be arranged,” sam murmured from behind the group, where he stood next to tommy and bad. his gaze drifted up to dream, who was visibly paling. “the prison was meant for - someone else, but a change of plans can be worked around.”

“sam,” dream stammered, taking a step back. “you-“

he didn’t get a chance to finish. sapnap pounced, tackling dream to the floor and holding him in headlock. “take his stuff!” he yelled. 

eret, niki, jack and punz rushed forward, wrestling the armor and weapons from dream’s inventory. dream yowled in anger, trying desperately to escape, but it was no use. eret yanked the boots off of his feet and left him nothing but his hoodie, pants and socks. 

sapnap wrenched the mask off of his face for good measure. dream glared at him as sapnap moved away from him, green eyes glinting dangerously. he had ginger freckles splattered across his nose and cheeks. 

as soon as sapnap left him, sam took his place, grabbing dream by the arm. the crowd made a protective circle around the two as sam handcuffed and chained him. dream didn’t try to fight him off. he just sat there glowering. 

sam hauled him to his feet, and dream cast one venomous look around at the gathered soldiers. his gaze snagged on ranboo, who had been scribbling in his book a moment before. ranboo paled, and dream gave him a nasty snarl; he spat at the young enderman’s feet. a small gasp rose up from the crowd, and ranboo took a staggering step back, clutching his book so hard he was nearly tearing the pages. niki threw herself in front of him, red eyes ablaze once more. her expression said,  _ try to come near him.  _

dream didn't try anything else. sam yanked him back towards the lift, and sapnap followed. everyone waited in pensive silence as the machinery took them up, up, up, until finally they disappeared into the ceiling. 

jack finally let his shoulders relax. “by the beings,” he murmured, running his hand through his hair. he glanced back at the others, and then at eret. “eret? anything to say?”

eret blinked. “me?” she asked. “why me?”

“you’re the rightful king of the smp,” quackity pointed out. “you don’t have to be dream’s figurehead or puppet anymore. you can rule the way you want to.”

eret rubbed the back of her neck. “we’ve seen how badly government can go,” she reasoned. “i really, really don’t want a murderous pig and an angel of death chasing after me every step i take.”

niki blinked. “are you stepping down?”

eret shook her head fiercely. “no!” she exclaimed. “no, not at all. too much - too much spilled blood went into getting this crown.” she winced. “i’m not going to be like a president. i’m not going to try to rule you. i’m here to keep the peace, keep order - i should have done that a long time ago.”

jack nodded, closing his eyes. his hands were still in his hair. “snowchester’s gonna be so empty now,” he murmured, turning away. 

punz held out the glittering netherite helmet he had pulled off of dream. “you should have this,” he said. “put it in the museum. or wear it - it’s armor fit for a king.”

niki and jack both nodded, handing over the netherite pants and chestplate they had stolen from him. eret collected all of it dutifully, and then glanced around at the group. 

“his weapons?” she asked. 

niki immediately handed over dream’s bow and crossbow, as well as a few potions and golden apples. punz was slightly more hesitant to hand over his shield and a few more powerful items. everyone’s gaze landed on jack, who after a moment of hesitation, sighed and handed over dream’s sword and axe. he gave the crowd a nervous smile. “hey, he had god weapons,” he said cheerfully, trying to break the tension. “you would want to keep them if you got them, too.”

“i won’t use any of this,” eret murmured as she stashed everything into her inventory. “it’s going into a vault, somewhere where no one can ever use it again. too much innocent blood was taken with these weapons.”

puffy sidled over to the group; she had passed tubbo’s body onto callahan. “where are we burying tubbo?” she asked. her voice shook. 

niki hugged her cloak closer to herself. “the l’manburg crater,” she reasoned. “he would want to be buried there.”

“we can’t,” eret blurted. he glanced around, namely at ant and bad. “there’s bloodvines down there. someone planted them. i don’t want tubbo’s grave near them.”

puffy shifted uncomfortably and glanced at punz. “okay,” she said. “snowchester, perhaps? it’s close.”

eret nodded. “that would probably be our best choice,” she said. “we can keep his body in my castle for now, until we figure out his funeral plans. don’t worry, puffy. it won’t be a repeat of schlatt’s funeral.”

puffy nodded, and glanced back at tommy. the boy had passed out in bad’s arms, probably from exhaustion. “and tommy…?”

“we’ll find a place for him,” eret assured her. “i’ll have someone watching over him twenty four-seven. even at night. he can stay in the castle until he’s recovered. it’ll be a group effort to help him make a full recovery.”

puffy gave eret a sad smile.

“i don’t think he can ever recover from this.”


	2. denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy and george are both in some serious denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible tw for panic attack and mentions of major character death!!

when tommy opened his eyes, he didn’t recognize where he was. 

it was white for as far as he could see. he sat up, and his head ached. looking down at himself he saw that he was in a change of clothes - a large blue shirt, loose pants, and socks. his arms, legs, torso and head were wrapped up with bandages - some of them were brown with old blood.  _ am i dead? _

“ _ hey, tommy. _ ”

tommy turned around, looking over his shoulder. wilbur sat there, his trenchcoat spread elegantly out around him. his legs were folded elegantly in front of him, and his hand rested on his knee. his eyes were cloudy, as if he had been blinded. soot stained his cheeks and he had a bloody gash on the front of his shirt. 

“wilbur?” tommy said. his voice was soft and crackly.

wilbur gave him a sad smile. “ _ big t. i was afraid you were going to become a permanent resident here.” _

“permanent-?” tommy stammered. “you thought i was gonna die?”

“ _ you came close, _ ” wilbur murmured, dragging his gaze away from his brother. “ _ i saw you materializing here. call me hateful, but i don’t want you here, tommy. you don’t belong here. _ ”

somewhere far away, tommy heard the echo of a groan. a bottle shattered. 

wilbur didn’t flinch. “ _ i saw what happened. i saw what you did. _ ”

tommy curled his legs up to his chest. “i got the discs back,” he mumbled, not meeting wilbur’s eyes. “that’s all that matters.”

wilbur stared at him, his expression unreadable. “ _ tommy. it’s okay to talk about tubbo. _ ”

tommy stiffened, and felt his eyes burn. “it’s not that i don’t want to. i don’t need to.” 

his brother frowned. “ _ it’s not good to bottle up your emotions. i learned that the hard way. _ ”

“you think i’m gonna blow up a country?” tommy remarked, rubbing his nose. “l’manburg’s gone. everything’s gone. tubbo’s the only one i have left.”

tommy’s gaze got distant. “tubbo isn’t dead,” he mumbled. “this is a dream. i’m gonna wake up from this - i’m gonna wake up in my house, and go and get the discs from dream-“

wilbur closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging. “ _ tommy. you’re in denial. _ ”

“no, i’m  _ not, _ ” tommy shot back, standing up. “you’re wrong. tubbo’s still here, he was just sleeping. this isn’t real. none of this was real.”

wilbur didn’t get up. he just sighed and let his head fall into his hands. “ _ tommy...tommy. what am i going to do with you? _ ”

distantly, through the mist behind wilbur, tommy saw something. two figures, one tall, one short, seemingly wrapped up in an argument. the taller man had the outline of horns and was staggering around, holding a broken bottle, and the smaller figure - well, tommy could recognize him anywhere. 

“ _ don’t go any farther in, tommy, _ ” wilbur warned, still not looking at his brother. “ _ or you may actually die. tommy- _ “

tommy didn’t listen. he took off towards tubbo, feeling his throat get sticky and hot as he pounded his way towards his friend. he screamed tubbo’s name, once, twice, three times. tubbo stopped walking, and looked behind him. tommy saw his eyes widen-

wilbur grabbed tommy by the arm and slammed him into the ground, making tommy cry out. his previous wounds flared up, screaming in agony from the sudden movement. tommy fought against him, kicking and screaming for tubbo. 

“ _ it’s not your time to die, _ ” wilbur said, and then he disappeared. 

tommy woke with a gasp, shooting upright. his bruises and wounds hurt even more than they had in his sleep, and he groaned, his throat making sounds he wasn’t meaning to. he was covered in sweat, and he felt impossibly hot under the thin blanket. 

“tommy!” a voice yelped from beside him. looking to the side revealed ranboo sitting in a chair next to the bed, a book in his hands. he towered over tommy from his momentous height, and he looked worried. “tommy, hey, you okay?”

tommy took a moment to catch his breath. ranboo handed him a glass of water from the nearby table, but had to hold it for tommy - his hands were shaking too much. 

“what time is it?” tommy blurted after he took a few generous gulps. he was ravenously thirsty and hungry, he realized. and weak. whatever strength he had used to sit up was fading fast. 

ranboo glanced around. “around four in the morning. i’m your night shift nurse, hah - being the only nocturnal person here comes in handy sometimes.”

tommy took a moment to get his bearings. he was in a stone brick room, lit dimly with torches and candles. the sky in the window outside was dark, the faraway twinkle of stars barely visible past the glass. his bed, ranboo’s chair, and the nearby table seemed to be the only furniture in the room. the table itself was piled high with medical equipment - bandages, scissors, rubbing alcohol and other supplies. some flower vases were also scattered about the table - tommy spotted labels, announcing they were from people like karl, fundy, puffy, and hbomb. 

“where’s tubbo?” tommy asked, bringing his gaze back to ranboo. 

ranboo sighed and rubbed his nose, jostling his glasses. “tommy...tubbo’s dead. dream - dream killed him.”

forever blunt ranboo - letting things on easy was something the enderman was never going to forget. 

tommy blinked. “no. no, he’s not. i just saw him in a dream. he’s alive.”

ranboo looked impossibly sad. “do you want to take a walk or something? get some fresh air?”

tommy took a shaky breath. “yeah. yeah, that’d be nice, i guess.”

ranboo helped him stand and explained what had happened since tommy passed out. “eret sealed dream’s armor and gear away in a vault. oh, they also instituted a temporary no armor, no weapons rule inside the castle walls.”

“castle?” tommy echoed. “is that - where i am? is tubbo here too?”

ranboo paled. “well...they’re keeping his body here, yes.”

tommy didn’t talk a lot as ranboo gently guided him down the steps and out into a courtyard. the fresh air was nice - tommy took generous gulps of oxygen, letting the wind ruffle his hair and kiss his neck. 

ranboo was so tall that his hand brushed tommy’s shoulder when he stood upright. he had had to practically crawl through the corridors of the castle - they really needed to renovate things to fit his size. 

the late night (or was it early morning, now?) air was cool and a welcome change to the stifling room that tommy had been confined to. he let out a sigh and nearly stumbled in relief as a breeze hit his neck, and ranboo had to grab his arm to avoid a head on collision with the pavement. 

tommy realized through his foggy brain that he had never truly been inside eret’s castle - it was a masterwork of architectural prowess. each window was a different color, and eret had made an effort to make every room unique down to minute detail. they passed the throne room on their way to the courtyard - there were voices inside, but ranboo steered tommy in the opposite direction. 

they found themselves walking along the battlements, ranboo practically having to carry tommy up the stairs. but from here they could see a sizable amount of the smp - tommy thought he could see the l’manhole from here. he was so disoriented that eret’s observation tower was the only discerning landmark that told him where it was. 

voices came from around the corner, and then niki and fundy appeared. ranboo stopped, obviously trying to avoid confrontation, but tommy only slowed a little. fundy glanced over, and then stopped, as did niki. the group regarded each other for a tense moment before niki stepped forward. 

she looked like she had seen better days. her eyeliner was smudged and her cheeks were flushed - she must have been crying recently. she had changed out of her netherite armor to a simple white shirt, suspenders, and brown trousers. fundy looked as normal as ever - black leather jacket, black pants and hat. tommy wondered absently when niki had dyed her hair. 

“tommy,” niki said in a choked voice. she  _ had  _ been crying. she stepped forward and put her arms around him - it looked a little silly. her head only went up to about tommy’s shoulders. she buried her head in his chest, and by the shake of her shoulders tommy guessed she was crying. slowly, shyly, he brought his hands up to her shoulder blades. 

after a while she pulled back, leaving tear stains on his shirt. she clasped his hands to her chest, and looked up at him, her eyes glossy with tears. 

“oh, tommy,” she whispered. “l’manburg is dying.”

tommy was silent. fundy came up behind niki and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. she let go of tommy’s hands, and fundy fixed tommy with a sad stare. 

“tommy, i’m sorry i couldn’t be there,” he said quietly. “i should have been there. i could have-“

“don’t blame yourself, fundy,” niki scolded softly. “don’t.”

fundy nodded solemnly, ducking his head before looking back up at tommy. “i’m sorry about tubbo. i’m so sorry.”

“what about him?” tommy said unexpectedly. “he’s not dead or anything. ranboo told me he’s here.”

niki and fundy both glanced behind tommy at ranboo, who cringed back. “tommy - his  _ body  _ is here,” niki hedged. “but tubbo - tubbo’s dead-“

“so? he’ll just respawn,” tommy said with a wave of his hand. “like he always does.”

“no, tommy,” niki whispered, more tears springing into her eyes. “that was his last canon life. he’s gone, like wilbur.”

tommy’s mind, still foggy, couldn’t process. “stop lying,” he barked. “you’re - you’re messing with me. stop it.  _ stop. _ ”

“tommy, you’re in denial,” fundy said, and he sounded too much, too much like his father then. “you need to calm down, okay? please, calm down, we can go sit down and talk-”

“stop it!” tommy shouted, startling all three of them. “stop trying to tell me to calm down! i’m fine! everything’s  _ fine! _ just  _ leave me alone! _ ” 

ranboo, niki and fundy were too shocked to react as tommy bolted, running back inside the castle. he was crying, the effort of running and sobbing taking all of the oxygen out of his lungs. he heard a shout behind him as he raced past the throne room, but he didn’t stop to look back. 

his shirt, a few sizes too big, flapped loosely around him as he ran through the echoey halls of the castle, searching for the exit. his brain was still moving too slow, too slow. the claustrophobia was caving in. he couldn’t register what was eret’s castle and what was eret’s control room - the walls, the torches, everything was blurring together-

he tripped on a staircase going down and let out a wounded cry as he skipped and hopped down the stairs, rolling to a stop at the base. his chest heaved as he pushed himself up onto his hands. all his previous wounds protested profusely, giving him a painful zap that nearly sent him back onto the floor. still he forced himself up onto one knee, looking up, looking for a way to escape.

he was in a small pavilion, its ceiling open to the night sky. the stars twinkled like faraway diamonds, and the welcome breeze from before stirred tommy’s hair. the left side of the room was open to a sprawling rose garden, the breeze bringing the fragrant scent of flowers.

in the middle of the room, lit by starlight, was a glass casket. flowers were piled up on all sides, most likely from the nearby garden. inside the casket was tubbo, lying there serenely, holding a bouquet of lavender and daisies to his chest. his fluffy brown hair was a stark contrast to the porcelain white of the pillow. his oversized green shirt and jeans were gone, replaced instead by his old l’manburgian uniform, its gold buttons and epaulettes shining like they had been polished yesterday. his old hat lay at his feet, its bee pin still there from when tommy had given it to him. offerings were strewn around the casket - tommy spotted a few bouquets with tags from mourners, jars of honey, candles, even a few music discs that people must have spares of. someone - probably niki - had left a basket of baked goods.

“tubbo?” tommy whispered.

footsteps echoed on the stairs nearby, and eret stopped in the archway, panting. they wore casual clothes; a robe thrown over a loose blouse, close-fitted trousers, and slippers. their crown and sunglasses were gone. they must have been conducting a small, late-night council in the throne room to be dressed so disheveled. 

“tommy, you’re supposed to be in bed,” eret said, but tommy was a million miles away, trapped in his own catastrophic world. he crawled closer to the casket and pulled himself up onto his knees beside it, crushing someone’s offering of flowers underneath his knees. his sweaty hands left handprints on the glass as he weakly scrabbled at it. he stared down at tubbo - his best friend, his comrade, his soulmate through life and death and whatever else the universe had thrown their way. they had sworn to stay by each other through thick and thin, that not even death itself could tear them apart. tubbo was a half to tommy’s whole - and tommy wasn’t whole anymore.

tommy gave a strangled moan as he pressed his forehead to the glass, closing his eyes as more tears burned at his waterline. he dug his nails into the glass - this wasn’t fair. none of this was fair. he just wanted tubbo, he just wanted-

eret’s hand slid softly onto his shoulder. “tommy,” they said quietly. “come here.”

tommy let eret drag him like a ragdoll off of the casket, instead settling them down on the floor so that tommy was holding onto eret as he sobbed. eret rubbed his back and rocked gently back and forth, humming a lullaby tommy felt like he distantly recognized. they stayed that way for a long time, until the stars shifted and dawn barely brushed the sky with her rosy fingers. 

eret finally spoke, their deep voice quiet and crackly. “tommy, can i tell you something?”

tommy shifted his head against eret’s chest. “what?” he mumbled.

“you know i’m blind, right?”

tommy glanced up to look at eret’s sightless eyes, still staring straight ahead. “yeah.”

“did i ever tell you about why i’m blind?”

“nah.”

“well, it’s a rather tragic story,” eret said, chuckling. “my parents angered a witch, you see. i was a smart baby - perfect twenty twenty vision, lucky little thing. but that witch - i don’t even know what we did to upset her - well, she came in one day and quite literally stole my eyes. so i had to grow up learning how to do everything without sight.”

“what’s your point?” tommy mumbled against eret’s shirt.

“i don’t know what colors are,” eret continued. “i don’t know what anything is, really. i need to have things described to me, and most of the time i figure i’m wrong. i remember wilbur describing what blue was like - it was calm, like ocean waves, like the blue sky of a perfect autumn day. it was a color of peace, of strong nobility, of happiness. i’ll never forget it.” the monarch chuckled. “makes sense, now, why ghostbur likes handing out blue so much.”

eret ran a hand through tommy’s blond curls. “my point, tommy, is that i can’t see tubbo right now. you can. you’re feeling a lot of things right now, trust me. i want you to describe tubbo to me.”

tommy’s hand twitched against eret’s back. “what?”

“describe him to me,” eret repeated. “not what he looks like, or his personality. describe what tubbo made you feel, describe him in colors, in feelings, in seasons. like you’re writing poetry.”

tommy buried his head in eret’s silky shirt. describe tubbo? how could he possibly begin?

“tubbo…” tommy mumbled. “tubbo’s like a summer day. he’s - he’s bright and warm and sometimes annoying, y’know, because it's so hot. he’s like lemonade, he’s sweet and cool and never gets old. and, and he’s like a bee, hah - buzzing, annoying, but cute and fuzzy and fierce when he wanted to be…”

tommy rambled on and on about things eret couldn’t see for the rest of the night, until the sky was stained pink and tommy was mumbling nonsense as he talked himself to sleep. at last tommy dozed off, and eret picked him up in strong arms, making his way back to his room. puffy met them halfway, happy to take up her position of tommy’s morning watch.

“he’ll be sore when he wakes up,” eret said as they tucked the kid into bed. “don’t forget to get him something to eat and drink, please. if he’s feeling up to it he can take a  _ slow  _ walk around the grounds.”

puffy smiled as she sat down next to the bed, smoothing tommy’s hair out of his eyes. “i’ll make sure he doesn’t go anywhere he isn’t supposed to,” she promised. her eyes softened. “i heard he found tubbo’s room…?”

eret sighed and leaned against the bedpost. “yeah. he did. i managed to calm him down, but he may ask about it when he wakes up.”

puffy’s ear flicked, as if she were shaking off a fly. “if he asks to go there - would it be good for him to take him? i’d rather take him there then have him bouncing off the walls in here.”

eret smoothed a hand through their hair. “yeah, only if he asks. try to keep him away from big crowds, and maybe away from niki and fundy for now. i just don’t want him to freak out again.”

puffy nodded. “of course. i won’t let anything happen to him.”

eret departed with a small salute, making their way back to their throne room. on the way they made an effort to pass by tubbo’s pavilion and straighten out the flowers tommy had trampled, running their hand over the casket. a feeling of bubbly gratitude spread in their chest as they gazed sightlessly down at the body. gratitude for everything tubbo had done for them, for l’manburg. for the smp as a whole. eret was going to miss him.

reminded of a tip from ranboo, eret dug in their pocket and retrieved twin gold compasses. they ran their thumbnail over the scratched, engraved names on the inside of the lid, face screwing up in frustration as they tried to determine whos was whose. they made a best guess and edged open the lid of the casket, slipping the open compass into the bouquet of flowers in tubbo’s hands. they tucked the other one away, to give to tommy when he was in a better headspace.

eret walked away, and they couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of forgiveness.

-

george found sapnap at the community house. the moon was low on the sky, a promise of dawn, and he was still in his netherite armor. his feet hung off the side as he stared into the water. george was panting, having run all the way from el rapids, and he bent over, hands on his knees, to catch his breath. 

he slid his foggy glasses up into his hair. “pandas,” he said breathlessly. “what’s happened? what’s wrong? why won’t anyone tell me what the hell is going on?”

sapnap glanced over his shoulder, the tension in his shoulders fading minutely. “george,” he said softly. he patted the planks next to him. “c’mere.”

george went over cautiously, sliding down the sit next to his friend. “can you  _ please  _ tell me what’s going on?”

for the first time he noticed the glistening in sapnap’s eyes, and the way his fingers dug into the wooden planks. “hey, hey, what’s going on?” george said, his tone getting softer. 

sapnap sniffled. “can you do my hair?”

“of course,” george said quietly, raising himself up onto his knees to slide sapnap’s helmet off. his hair was greasy and tangled from being in a helmet for so long, but george brushed it out the best he could with his fingers. if he pulled too hard, sapnap didn’t tell him. george expertly twisted his hair up onto the crown of his head, pulling his long black hair into two buns that he tied off with a small rubber band. it left a small curtain of hair loose at the back of his neck that was too short to fit into the buns. 

george sat back, satisfied with his job. sapnap had visibly relaxed, and was fiddling with the straps on his netherite leg armor, having already taken off his boots. george silently helped him take his chestplate off, leaving him in his slightly dirty hoodie and black jeans. 

sitting down beside his friend, george let his legs dangle off the side. the wind whistled ominously through the broken skeleton of the community house - george, sapnap and dream had built this place with their own two hands. the walls were filled with chaotic laughter, with nights where they were kept inside by mobs and night chills. george remembered the early days of the server, when all three of them had slept piled together in a great heap, refusing to be apart from each other even to sleep. now that the house was gone, it seemed to suck all of those happy memories out, tossing them into the cold wind. 

sapnap rubbed his nose. “something happened.”

george scoffed. “yeah, i noticed.”

sapnap didn’t reply for a long time, staring out at the water. “you remember the first war? when we all fought against tommy and tubbo and wilbur?”

“yeah. what about it? what happened?”

sapnap shrugged. “i was just, y’know...thinking about how back then, we were all against tommy and tubbo. we were loyal to dream without a blink of an eye. we had blind loyalty. we didn’t...we didn’t notice how bad dream was.”

george grit his teeth. “what’s your point?”

“those discs,” sapnap continued. “the ones that tommy has. i fought for them on his side, once. against dream. i had completely forgotten all about it. i had forgotten that i had fought side-by-side with tommy and tubbo, against dream. i had - i had forgotten how right that felt.”

it took all of george’s willpower not to push sapnap into the lake. “sapnap. what’s your point?”

sapnap looked up at george. his eyes were watering. “george...dream killed tubbo.”

george blinked. “what?”

“he - he killed him,” sapnap said, his face screwing up against his tears. “i  _ saw  _ him. he was just  _ covered  _ in blood, george, he didn’t look like dream, he looked like a  _ monster _ .”

george stood up, his head spinning. “what are you talking about?”

“i’m saying that dream murdered tubbo,” sapnap said, rising to his feet. “in cold blood. for the discs. punz had told us all to come and help him rescue tommy and tubbo, but we were too late.” tears slipped down his tanned face. “dream betrayed us.”

george open and closed his mouth a few times. “... _ tubbo? _ why - why tubbo?”

sapnap shrugged helplessly. “i don’t know, george! i don’t know! all i know is that we’ve lost him - we’ve lost dream. that dream isn’t the same one we made this server with. he’s evil, george, and i don’t know what to do.”

george was silent, still trying to think. “he...he wouldn’t. he wouldn’t kill tubbo. he’s not - he’s not  _ like that _ .”

sapnap’s mouth fell open. “you don’t believe me?”

“no, i don’t believe  _ him! _ ” george exclaimed. “he wouldn’t do that! that’s - that’s not the dream i know!”

“he’s in  _ prison, _ george!” sapnap shouted angrily. “why would he be in prison if he didn’t do anything? maybe if you were around for him, you’d know what happens!”

with that stinging statement, sapnap turned on his heel and trudged back up to eret’s castle, leaving george alone and confused with the ghosts of his friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i kind of speed ran this chapter because i knew if i didn’t post it soon i would never finish it. i’m always busy during the week so the weekend is one of the only times i have free to write so!! expect updates on weekends


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